Friday, September 25, 2009

Does Ex-gay mean "straight"?

I just received a note from someone with a great question regarding my "Gay Gene?" post from Oct 2007. He was confused with my comment regarding gay activists misrepresenting Exodus for being "a Christian group that believes homosexuals can become straight through prayer and counseling." For many Christians, it seems that the goal of someone coming out of homosexuality is to become straight, a heterosexual. But this is not what I believe and this, I believe, is not biblical. Below is my comment to my friend.

Thanks so much for your note but this is not what I believe and what Exodus believes. I also think that most ex-gay ministries don't believe this as well but I can't say this for sure as I don't know them all!

You see Scripture is very clear about sex and what God has created it for. But the world has distorted this and this has even affected the Church.

The major misconception within the Church is that heterosexuality is what is normal and that this is what God has ordained. But when we look in Scripture, there are about seven times more references to adultery, fornication and lust - all sins associated with heterosexuality - when compared to homosexuality.

Now I'm not trying to justify homosexuality but I'm just proving a point that neither homosexuality or heterosexuality should be the goal for any Christian. Heterosexuality is too broad encompassing adultery, fornication and lust (which are all sins).

The goal for all Christians should be HOLY SEXUALITY.

God has clearly set out what holy sexuality means. God gives us two options for holy sexuality: if we are single, then abstinence and if we are married, then faithfulness (and God has very clearly proscribed marriage to be with a man and a woman).

Therefore, my goal has never been to become straight. Because if I become straight, then I would begin lusting after women (which is a sin) and I would still have to focus on holy sexuality. My goal is holiness.

God says, "Be holy for I am holy." He has never said, "Be heterosexual as I am heterosexual."

I know that God can completely take away any same-sex attractions that I have (He's God anyway!). But if He does, I will then struggle with something else - anger, pride, heterosexual lust, etc. As long as I'm on this side of glory, I will always struggle with temptations with sin.

So I may still have same-sex attractions, but God has broken the chains of the bondage that I was in. You see, CHANGE DOES NOT MEAN THE ABSENCE OF STRUGGLES, BUT CHANGE MEANS THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE HOLINESS IN THE MIDST OF MY STRUGGLES.

So as one who has come out of homosexuality, I have not "become straight" but rather I am on my journey toward sanctification through joyous, holy living.


I hope that this gives some clarity. I have put much thought and study into this and would greatly welcome your thoughts. Blessing to you all!