I wanted to write a really scathing piece on this trailer for Vampires Suck, the new film by the guys who make the "movie" movies (epic, date, disaster, etc). But when I sat down to try, I realised I was no longer capable of doing that. In the two minutes that I was watching this trailer, the part of my brain that formed coherent thought was destroyed in a feiry blaze of synapses and bad puns. If I had to guess, my IQ now sits somewhere between the levels of the people who made this movie and a heavily sedated cumquat, and all that remains of my earthly functions is primitive speech, basic motor skills and the ability to discern the fact that I would rather watch Twilight one hundred times and be tortured to death than see this film.
On second thoughts, I guess that was pretty scathing.
Vampires Suck will be in theatres in the US from August 18th
