funny quotes about
Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. ~Niccolo Machiavelli
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~Buddha
Do not nurse a kid who wears braces. ~Author Unknown, "Nursing Mother Principle"
The human body is a machine which winds its own springs. ~Julien Offroy de la Mettrie, L'Homme Machine
I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth." ~Quincy Jones
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. ~Barnett Cocks, attributed
The poetry of the earth is never dead. ~John Keats
Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. ~Agnes Sligh Turnbull
Punishment is now unfashionable... because it creates moral distinctions among men, which, to the democratic mind, are odious. We prefer a meaningless collective guilt to a meaningful individual responsibility. ~Thomas Szasz
I never did, or countenanced, in public life, a single act inconsistent with the strictest good faith; having never believed there was one code of morality for a public, and another for a private man. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1809
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? ~Author Unknown
The African-American experience is one of the most important threads in the American tapestry. ~Bill Frist
I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. ~Francis Bellamy, The Youth's Companion, 8 September 1892
What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue. ~Thomas Paine
It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop. ~Vita Sackville-West
What compels you to stare, night after night, at all the glittering hokum that has been deliberately put together for you? ~J.B. Priestley, about Americans
We often forgive those who bore us, but never those whom we bore. ~Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O'Rourke
For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind... ~Hosea 8:7
I hate war for its consequences, for the lies it lives on and propagates, for the undying hatreds it arouses, for the dictatorships it puts in the place of democracies, and for the starvation that stalks after it. I hate war, and never again will I sanction or support another. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick
