We arrived in the cinema lobby at around 10:15pm, with plenty of time to spare. We spent some time looking around the bookstore while the rest of our group trickled in. One of my friends had brought an American football, and was casually spinning it in his hand. Another one of them walked up to me and asked, almost covertly, if I had brought any spoons. I replied that we had plenty.At around quarter to eleven, we went up to the box office and stood in the long line. The guy behind us seemed to be wearing a wig of long straggly black hair...but it didn't seem odd. One of my friends who had never seen the film, and who I knew had cancelled plans that evening to join us asked me to remind him of the name of the movie we were seeing.
In response, I pointed to the poster hanging on the wall. He followed my gaze and then asked "what, the French one?" "No" I answered. "The one next to it". Looking at the face starring down at us, he nodded, a little unsure. Another friend, also unfamiliar with the film, starred at the poster for a long moment before saying hesitantly "it looks kind of creepy".
We filed into the theatre, which was already almost completely packed with people, mostly in their early twenties by the looks of things. We took our seats; our group of twenty taking up an entire row and part of another. There was a lot of noise, the crowd talking animatedly, excitedly. My friend on my right rummaged around in his bag before pulling out a large bag of plastic cutlery, grinning triumphantly. We opened it up and started passing out spoons.After the eating implements had been evenly distributed, I glanced at my phone. 11:05. The cinema was now completely full. In the seat directly in front of me, my friend (the same one who thought we were seeing the french film) turned around and said to me, "this better be good". I just grinned.
Suddenly the lights went down and a hush came over the audience. A woman walked out to the front of the theatre with the microphone and welcomed us to the screening. She talked a little bit about the film, about it's history and status, and reminded us that it would be playing twice more this month.
Perhaps sensing impatience, she asked how many people in the audience had never seen the film; about three quarters of the audience raised their hand, including around half of our party. In response to this, a heavily bearded man behind us yelled out loudly, "fucking scum!" But he was smiling, and people laughed. Finally the woman told us that before the screening began, the films director wanted to give us a message. And with that she pulled out a letter and began to read:January 29, 2010
Los Angeles, California, USA
Hello to all the fans and others of “The Room” in Australia!
Welcome to “The Room” family. I’m thrilled that we have fans in Australia. It is my pleasure to tell you that I appreciate your support and interest in “The Room” and in my work.
It is my suggestion to you that if you can see “The Room” at least five or more times in the theater.
I will say to you all: you can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself, but please don’t hurt each other, and have a fun with “The Room.”
I love you all.
Very Truly Yours,
Tommy Wiseau, Director, Actor.
With that, the lights dimmed and the curtains rose. The atmosphere was electric. But the film did not begin. Instead, a man appeared on the screen, standing in times square and holding an American football. As if on cue, dozens of people the audience, myself included, yelled out "SESTOSTERONE!!!", drowning out his first few words.
The crowd, as you might expect, went wild. But nearly as wild as when the Wiseau Films logo flashed onto the screen and the movie finally began.
The next two hours were without question the most fun I've had in a cinema in my life. As the opening credits played over long sweeping shots of San Fransisco, people starting screaming "where the fuck are we!?". Each name in the credits elicited a different reaction; Juliette Danielle was met with hisses and boos, whilst Phillip Haldiman's name caused the entire theatre to yell, almost in unison "Oh hi Denny!"
Director of Photography Todd Barron on the other hand was greeted with angry shouts of "Fuck you Todd Barron". But the strongest reaction was reserved of course for the man himself. Cheers, screams and rapturous applause shock the cinema at the words "written by Tommy Wiseau" were plastered across the screen, and they only grew louder as his producing and directing credits followed.
And it never let up. When Johnny said how beautiful his future wife was, the audience responded with cries of disgust. People chanted "scotch-ka, scotch-ka, scotch-ka" as Lisa poured Johnny a strange mixed beverage (even though she knows "he doesn't drink"). When Peter and Mark got into a fight on the roof, we all bellowed "toss him over the fucking edge!". And whenever any of the female characters did or said anything, the audience would reply "IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN!!!"
But it wasn't just a matter of sitting in our seats and yelling profanity. Whenever a piece of framed cutlery was to be seen, someone (or many people) would shout out "SPOOOOON!!!", and the audience would throw their utensils at the screen. Or into the audience. Or just up in the air. And when we ran out, people would run to the front of the theatre and throw them back into the crowd.When the characters onscreen began throwing a football, my friend pulled his out and the whole theatre, strangers to each other, had our own came of catch without getting out of our seats, whilst four guys (including the one with the wig) with a ball of their own ran out to the front and acted out what was going on on screen, complete with three feet under arm passes.
But all good things must come to and end, and after the films dramatic climax, made all the more potent by screams from the audience of "fuck the red dress" and "kill yourself!", the end credits rolled to a standing ovation from a full house of now life-long Room devotees.
Tommy Wiseau's cult classic film The Room, described by many as "The Citizen Kane of bad movies" will be playing in limited screenings in other Australian cities including Sydney and Perth; check your local arthouse or cult cinema for details, and if they don't have it, demand it. It will also be playing twice more at Cinema Nova in Melbourne on the 20th and 27th of February at 11pm. Tickets can be booked here.I implore you, from the bottom of my heart, do not miss out on this film. If you're not yet convinced, you can find my full review of The Room here, which should give you an idea of why so many people get so excited about this movie.
So come along next week; I swear, you will not regret it. And if you do, come and find me in the lobby afterwards and I'll reimburse you for your ticket. Because trust me, I'll be there.
