funny quotes for mobile

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony



The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly. ~G.K. Chesterton, "Orthodoxy"



Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever." ~Gene Perret Retreat, hell! We're just advancing in another direction. ~Oliver Prince Smith



Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first. ~Frederick B. Wilcox



Actually, I'm not all that interested in the subject of photography. Once the picture is in the box, I'm not all that interested in what happens next. Hunters, after all, aren't cooks. ~Henri Cartier-Bresson



Volunteers don't get paid, not because they're worthless, but because they're priceless. ~Sherry Anderson (Thanks, Kathy)



Man is a strange animal, he doesn't like to read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it. ~Adlai Stevenson



Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying. ~Christian Furchtegott Gellert



If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe



Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it. ~Luke Salisbury



Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. ~Timothy Leary



Certain shades of limelight wreck a girl's complexion. ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958, spoken by the character Holly Golightly



Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~Harlan Miller



We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be. ~Jane Austen



A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb



Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon. ~Peter Lynch



It is the little writer rather than the great writer who seems never to quote, and the reason is that he is never really doing anything else. ~Havelock Ellis



Plainness has its peculiar temptations quite as much as beauty. ~George Eliot



Tongue - a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow. ~Bob Ekstrom



A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye. As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition. ~V. Vale and Andrea Juno, Modern Primitives