love and heartbreak quotes

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say. ~Mark Twain



My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. ~Thomas Paine



When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wrong. ~Ani Difranco



To the aesthete it is an art form, an athletic ballet. To the spiritually inclined it is a religion. ~Paul Gardner



This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. ~Douglas Adams



We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are. ~Honore de Balzac



When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. ~Mark Twain



Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat. ~Mark Twain



I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion. ~Henry David Thoreau I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion. ~Henry David Thoreau



It is fear that first brought gods into the world. ~Petronius Arbiter, Satyricon



The rest of the world loves soccer. Surely we must be missing something. Uh, isn't that what the Russians told us about communism? There's a good reason why you don't care about soccer - it's because you are an American and hating soccer is more American than mom's apple pie, driving a pick-up and spending Saturday afternoon channel-surfing with the remote control. ~Tom Weir



Hay is more acceptable to an ass than gold. ~Latin Proverb



Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men. ~Jean Rostand



Golf is not just an exercise; it's an adventure, a romance... a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined. ~Harold Segall



Let no man's ghost return to say his training let him down. ~Firefighters Saying



Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words. ~Margaret Mitchell



Other countries have their history. Uruguay has its football. ~Ondino Viera



How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages. ~Barry Goldwater



Leisure only means a chance to do other jobs that demand attention. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.