Videos Every Black Parent Should Watch

Black Parents Discussing Black Parenting and Black Family Issues. We just wrapped up our Creating Conversations Series, three amazing webinar discussions with wonderful Black Moms and Dads just like you. If you missed them, you can now watch them online and share your comments too!

Here are the videos:

Do Good Black Father's Exist? Find out what these dads have to say...
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/do-good-black-fathers-exist

Are Black Moms as strong as everyone thinks? Let's here our moms share their point of view.
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/do-good-black-fathers-exist

What is happening to our Babies? Black parents talking about Black Parenting... raising positive healthy smart and wonderful black families.
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/black-parenting-1


Healthy Living. What are you feeding your families?
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/healthy-eating


For up to date BMC news, be sure to also signup for the Black Moms Club Newsletter.
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/newsletter-1

Do good black fathers exist?

I just had a really great brainstorming session with Lamar, creator of the Black and Married with Kids blog which he co-writes with his wife Ronnie. We talked about alot of things, but one of the most important was acknowledging the existance of good black fathers. Lamar is one, my hubby is one, I'm sure all the single dads on the Black Moms Club and husbands of happy black wives are one too!

With that thought in mind I wanted to give you guys the opportunity to download an issue from my Mahogany Momma Magazine called Proud Poppas, click here to download.

Let's acknowledge the proud poppas today, can we do that?

Related Topic: Why is it so hard for black women to talk about FATHERS, but so easy to talk about MEN?

Related Topic: Daddy

Related Topic: My Man, My Daddy

Related Topic: Learning How to Deal with Black Men Helped me find the right Black Father...

Related Topic: What's wrong with half siblings and baby daddies?

Recommended Reading
Sometimes Rhythm, Sometimes Blues: Young African Americans on Love, Relationships, Sex, and the Search for Mr. Right
Today’s women expect it all: a successful career, an understanding and equally successful mate, and children—all wrapped up in a white picket fence. But recent studies show that while black women have ascended to form a new middle class and have attained success in the business sector, black men haven’t followed suit. Perhaps as a result, with other sociological and economic factors at play, many successful sistahs are having trouble finding a partner to call their own. Sometimes Rhythm, Sometimes Blues is a groundbreaking anthology that explores the many reasons why—analyzing materialism and financial expectations, single motherhood, bling-bling culture, media representations of African-American gender roles, missing fathers, incarcerated partners, and more—and offers hope from women who have beaten the odds. Writers including Kevin Powell and Victor LaValle weigh in on the men’s side in a “Talking Back” section, while female contributors include Kiini Ibura Asalaam, Shawn E. Rhea, Shani O’Neal, and Asha Bandele.

Brought to you by lhenry : The Black Moms Club

How this Black Mom gave Single Mothers a Voice...

When Fadia Ward found herself a single black mom with four kids, alone with no father to provide for them she was upset. She was upset at the reality of hardship that often comes with being a single parent, and she was upset about her children not getting the financial, emotional, and fatherly support she knows they deserve. When she really sat down and contemplated that anger, she decided to turn it into something both therapeutic and quite unique. Out of Fadia's personal experiences came the creation of a different kind of website for parents. Knowing what it feels like to be a voiceless single mother in a world of broken black homes and poorly supported single parents, she decided to give single moms a space to share their stories, hold their children's father's accountable for their actions, and find strength in the real and present issues that connect single mothers across color lines and socio-economic boundaries.

Her site Daddydontwantme.com is as real and as straightforward as the name suggests. Airing out all the dirty laundry of accused dead beat dads this site primarily features stories from frustrated moms wanting to tell their stories, often times in a brutality honest way. And as Fadia knows from interacting with web readers to being featured on ABC, her site is both loved and hated in the online community. Whether you personally feel her site gives dads a bad wrap or not, the truth remains that many of these men have never been held accountable for their neglect of their children and their roles as fathers, so she is taking all the blows and stepping up to say that's not right. They are not good enough.

Love it or hate it, but please don't be quick to judge it because Daddydontwantme.com finally creates a voice for single moms (many of which are moms of color), who feel as though they have been hurt, abandoned, betrayed and left with fatherless children. And as Fadia points out to all featured submitters, it is their responsibility to only tell the truth. Her role is not to provide a place for people to create stories that harmfully attack a person's good character. She merely wants to put faces and stories together, showing the children who are left behind, the mothers fighting for their children's rights, and the fathers who have yet to be held accountable for their actions.

But the site does not end there. Hoping to shed light on what parenting should be about, Fadia also features a section on 'Real Dads' giving men an opportunity to either share their side of the story or to shed light on how they are playing active parts in their children's lives. The site also features original video clips like Fadia's documentary, on which several Junior High School students talk about what it feels like to be without their fathers, many of whom either left, got locked up in jail, or sadly passed away. Videos also include Fadia's News footage and documentaries made by single moms.

Whether you are a single mother looking to share her story, or any person curious to read these stories and learn more about the struggles surrounding single parenting please visit Daddydontwantme.com and connect with Fadia on the Black Moms Club.

Now to flip the script a bit.... Speaking on the site as both a black woman and a black mother of a black son, at the very least I thinks its important for us to have sites like this because we need not pretend such things don't exist, nor insist that they are simply dirty secrets we shouldn't air out. The fact remains that Black Family Unit needs to be rebuilt and in order to do so we must begin by being honest about what's going on in our communities, holding our black men more accountable for their actions, and ultimately letting our men be men.

I personally am not a single mom, I am blessed to have an amazing black man at my side and I have to fight to keep it that way. I have to fight against my own issues - a strong black woman who sometimes doesn't know how to let her man take the lead because she's spent so long doing it for herself. I have to fight against the voices in my head, showing me examples of my mothers and sisters who are single mothers - foolishly believing that if they did it it's ok to do it but it's not ok. It's not ok for us to not have functional family units. It's not ok to live with out the intimacy that comes with being in a real relationship or to think we alone can turn our boys into men. I have to fight against the demons of death that stole my father, the drug dealers who stole the life of my brother, the police who harass and beat my son's father for being a black man walking in a black neighborhood. I have to fight the demons inside both of us that have programmed us to sometimes fight each other, because we are slowly but surely learning what it is to love.

He is one of many strong Black Men who exist and thank God for them, but let's not pretend that years of slavery, oppression, and injustice have not given birth to the men who grace the pages of Daddydontwantme.com as dead beat dads. These are the men we need to find faith in, see them in their chosen and often unchosen state of invisibility. Our invisible black men being put into the system as soon as they hit 16 and walk the streets. Our men leaving poorly funded schools with failed educational systems told they are ACD and everything but intelligent, profound, and worth of a good education. Our men, these faces we see on tv sent to jail for robberies committed when perhaps two weeks prior they were denied that job or still couldn't seem to rub those two pennies hard enough for us all to survive. Our men turning street dreams into hoop dreams, touch downs, and BET vidoes into fortune 500 Companies from which everyone gets a cut and yet they are STILL cut out of the system, constantly told they are the ultimate cause of it's demise. And we, the black community at large, who foolishly rise to every occasion mass media gives to shoot them down, clown their triumphs, deny their flaws as our own. Because they are our own.

They are my men. They are our black men and however much the system beats them down we need them to rise to the occasion for I fear we have entered some of our darkest hours. We need black men, black fathers to love their women, protect their children, and provide for their families. We need you to be present and proactive with respect to fixing our issues and reclaiming our civil rights in a system not designed for us to succeed in. We don't need to be dependent on government checks and we don't need to be in a place where we have to demand child support. We need to depend on you, because we all need to depend on each other. There is nothing wrong with black pride, there is nothing wrong with black unity. It is not a matter of isolation reverse segregation as other's might want you to believe. It is a right and an honor to take pride in our birth right, our skin, our people, ourselves.

Each One Teach One
LaShanda Henry
Creator of the Black Moms Club and Multiple Shades of You Online
Positive Websites for People of Color
www.msoyonline.com

Black Moms Connect on BMC

Ok this is a quick post. I just wanted to let you know that I am really happy to report many Mothers of Color are connecting and genuinely enjoy my new network: The Black Moms Club. There are over 500 Members now and we are getting bigger. Right now as the group expands there are lots of great new pics and hot topics. The buzz right now are moms discussing issues related to being a Single Mother and the role of Black Fathers. I love it!

Check out my: Technorati Profile

-lh

Black Fathers Network

Positive Black Fathers looking for a place to connect with other positive African American men then please join the Black Fathers Network.

Also check out my guide "Proud Poppas and Phenomenal Father Figures" for a listing of other websites and works of noteworthy Black Men.

-lhenry
-Each One Teach One

The pains of a Black Father

Today I read a great post on izania, from one man who talks about his role as a strong Black Father and what he feels is missing in the Black Community as far as more black dads involved in the lives of their children.

Read the post: The pains of a Black Father

In response to his post, I thought it important to point out...

Although I am not a father, I am a mother, as one who does a great deal of research on the topic of Black Families I would like to share what I know...

However small it may seem, there is a growing number of black fathers who wish to not only be an active member of their children's lives but connect with other fathers who are on the same page.

I know we need to get more black dads on track, but as the same time we also need to demystify this belief that all black men run away from the responsibility of taking care of their children. After all, one way to fix the problem is to lead by positive example and we can't really do that if we don't acknowledge those do right dads.

That being said please take a look at some of these sites:

* African American Dad: www.fatherdad.com
* Proud Poppa: www.proudpoppa.net [A Magazine]
* The Million Father March Project: www.blackstarproject.org
* Black Marriage in America

These websites and many others, along with books, films and articles are featured in my eGuide: Proud Poppas and Phenomenal Black Fathers: a close look at African American Fathers and Father Figures who make the black community better for all of us.

Again, am just a lady but you know I had to had my 2 cents.

-lhenry [founder of blackmomsclub.com]

The Black Family

One of the most unique attributes of the American Black Family is the role of the Matriarchy. Whereas most of western culture is founded on the construction of a dominant patriarchal figure, the roots of Black culture are deeply embedded in the role of the mother. The dominant black matriarch emerged out of the system of slaver and fell into the restrictive social definitions of gender. In other words, throughout the days of slavery, black males had no control over the well being of his partner or children. Black women, however, were able to retain a maternal power derived from being both childbearings and managers of both their young and those of their master.

When slavery ended, blacks regained control over their bodies, but the mental chains of oppression were still visible. Segregation, miseducation, and poverty made it almost impossible for black men to acquire the patriarchal power common to their male counterparts. More over, black woman were accustomed to being dominant figures in the household, and have retained that role to this day. It is true that there are cases in which black fathers claim their title as man of the household, but for the most part the matriarchy lives on.

Could there possibly be anything wrong with that? What do you think?

My Man, My Daddy

Thinking on Paper I From the diapers to the diaphragm I just don't understand why my lack of a father affects my need for a man.

Touched By Boys Loved By Men
A Collection of Poems by LaShanda Henry


It's a Father Daughter Thing
An Excerpt of Proud Poppas - Maghoany Momma Guide #10

No one will argue that sons need their fathers. Dads know how to teach their little boys to grow up and be men. They provide them with the type of discipline and insight that only a father can give. Words can not express how important it is for every boy to have a father, but what about every little girl? Is it equally important for our girls to have a father figure in their lives?

The truth is that every little girl needs her father. Fathers do a lot more for their daughters than simply serve as a source of protection. They can teach their daughters how to be just as strong as little boys. Moreover, fathers have the ability to show young girls what a healthy man-woman relationship should be through their interaction with their spouse, children, and others. Every woman looking for a good man should be able to find someone who reminds her of her father.

Gwyneth Paltrow expressed the impact her father had on her life in a very touching episode of Oprah. She spoke of the time her father took her on her first trip to Paris. Upon returning home from what could only be described as an amazing experiencing, Gwyneth’s dad asked her if she knew why the two of them took this trip without the rest of the family. When she replied no, he told her it was because he wanted her first trip to Paris to be with a man who would always love her. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every father could express such a sentiment to their daughter in their own way?

In short, both our boys and our girls need to have positive father figures around them so that they can visualize and hopefully recreate more healthy family structures within the black community.

Father Daughter Must See Film: Daddy's Little Girls
Find More Mahogany Momma's Black Relationship Films

A Tribute to Black Fathers

Mahogany Momma Web Guide #10
Proud Poppas
This Guide Highlights Books, Movies, and Websites that feature and give tribute to Black Fathers and other Black Men who are phenomenal father figures within the Black Community.

Mahogany Momma Web Guides
LaShanda Henry presents her original series of web guides for African American Moms / Mothers of Color. These intereactive e-books contain information about some of the best online AND offline content for Mahogany moms.

http://mom.msoyonline.com

Proud Poppas to New Mocha Moms: Mohagany Momma Updates

New Mahogany Momma Web Guides are here!!

Proud Poppas
Special Edition
Mahogany Momma Web Guide #10
This Guide Highlights Books, Movies, and Websites that feature and give tribute to Black Fathers and other Black Men who are phenomenal father figures within the Black Community.

Maternity Guide for Mocha Moms
Special Edition
Mahogany Momma Web Guide #9
This guide was designed with new Black Moms in mind. It includes information about some of the best programs, books, sites, baby products, and resources for Pregnant Women of Color.

College In And Out
Special Edition
Mahogany Momma Web Guide #8
This College Guide for Students of Color includes a College Focused Timeline for students from Junior High to High School Graduation,with an extensive listing Black College Life resources, books, sites & more.

New Free Issue:
Websites for Women of Color
Mahogany Momma Web Guide #6
Find websites and resources for Women of Color created and designed by LaShanda Henry, founder of Multiple Shades of You Online (www.msoyonline.com) eCommunity for People of Color.

Url: http://mom.msoyonline.com/