It is quite astonishing what humans can do to each other. The fact that a studio can consciously inflict this movie onto others is a testament to the callousness…nay, the heartlessness of our species. On top of the dark prophesy this trailer spells for mankind, it is also a scientific miracle: never before has so much quantifiable suckyness been compressed into so short of video. In just two minutes, the folks at Twentieth Century Fox have literally created the next generation of mass destructive weaponry. Hiroshima and Nagasaki will not even be blips on the radar when compared to the utter devastation that occurs when this film is released to the general public. And if you think it is racially insensitive of me to make jokes about the murder of thousands of Japanese civilians, just consider this: Hollywood has once again spat in the face of over a billion Asians by casting Justin Chatwin (Tom Cruises son from War of the Worlds) as one of the most beloved anime characters of all time. Now that’s racism!
There is nothing in this trailer that looks good. Here’s a short list to explain exactly why:
The Acting – Woeful
The Dialogue – Laughable
The Special Effects – Cartoonish (which I suppose is ironic)
The Fight Scenes - Idiotic
The Slow Motion – Disproportionate
The Story - ???
Convinced? The one thing that prevents me from going on a killing spree is the knowledge that no matter how bad this film looks to me, my despair is nothing compared to that of the people who were actually fans of the show.
Dragonball: Evolution will begin raping eyeballs in Australian cinemas on April 9th
